Superannuated

As threads of the time stream, and life drags on, we must succumb to the exhausting efforts of our lives. We must figure what is important and what is trivial strife to us. What do we do what do we say. I can tell you i have died. I have died both on the internal, and exterior, spiritual. When I was alive I was being strangled both by grief and guilt.
These silent killers had suppressed both my air, and my life. Equivocal thoughts were always haunting me, and stalk me in the shadows of my mind. These are the mental pictures I think about this when i describe my thoughts, and mental status at that time. Picture a box of thousands of wires twisted and bound together jumbled in to a small box. This was before my death picture. Now look at the picture below. this is what i have done to my brain after i died. I have harnessed , and rewired my myself. It has taken diligence, and determination.


You may ask me why so happy? What makes me better now? Very simple one word. God!!!

Now with that I must say that I have always been a christian, and a firm believer in Jesus Christ. I know that he died for my sin so that i may have eternal life. I was once married to a extremely beautiful christian girl too. She taught me many things about myself and what it was like to love GOD. I was envied at what she had, and i wanted the same. My spirit, and physical body had a war, and spirit lost. I felt like a mere child next to Goliath. I was was not aware of what i know now. If i was i would not have lost the most wonderful woman in my life, if i didn't worry about other people so much. It is not what what other people think of your belief, but what Jesus, and his Father believes in you.

It has taken me less than 18 days to find my myself, and become whole and happy. It is amazing that I feel this great. I find my old shell from time to time and laugh at it. My life has taken such a turn recently, God has awaken a Fire in me that i cannot describe. It makes me brighter than i have ever been. Happiness is what i have found being by myself. I know that God has a wonderful woman in store for me when I decide that i am ready to date again. For now i am finding happiness in god, and myself. I have loving people in my life that have seen me through this mess, and continue praying for me. You know who you are. Thank you. Thank you for what you have endured to see me through this. Call upon me, when u need help loved ones. It is my turn to carry you now.