It is not over til Jesus says it is.

Another sunny day to reflect in god's Glory. Not much has felt like it has happened here, but i realize that more has happened then I physically see. Most people Measure the amont of "change" in a physical form" for what they can see and feel. I myself sense that there is more that has changed with me emotionally than i have ever known.

I feel Calm, and Peaceful, almost. Things has happened in my life that are way beyond my control, and that is the way that I started to "roll". I have given up on life, i have given up control. The driver of my life is no longer me but God.

I know it is kinda sick to say but " I long for my suffering". My suffering means that God is in controls and it shows that he is with me. Now for those of you following me, you know the amount of pain i have, and am enduring. As these times are among me i have excepted this pain, and decided to let god keep control. This is a very hard thing for me since i like to be in control of my life. I have Join forces with my local church and i am volunteering my time. I must say this is the best thing that has happened to me. For the first time in my life i am healing from the inside out.

God has done many things in my life, though I want to blame hime for all that has happened i feel an inner peace that has allowed me to forgive some of my personal feelings. He has helped me realize what I have done to my loved ones. But slowly god is restoring what i have been resisting. I know that even when my faith is weak, God will stay in control.

I have always lived my life for me, and what people can do for me. When i decided to move to Phoenix, i also decided to get a fresh start. You all know this is true as many of you have heard tone in my voice change from frustration, to peace, and hope. Continue to pray for me, and what i am enduring... Praise God

Know that when you pray, and know in your heart, God he will answer your prayers.